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Name: Anthony
Callsign: Desertfox / Shotgun
Age: 24 and counting...
Institution: Singapore Poly

Hobbies: Archery, Gaming, Pool,
Hiking around, Surfing Youtube

Hopes: Make it to University

Wishlist: Fulfilled my prev wishlist
except this one; get a good girlfriend.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Crap, literally...

Its been almost a week since I kena this random diarrhoea. And it still hasn't gotten better. Took some medication before I went for Archery AGM this morning, but it still didn't help. Had to make runs twice before I got home. Bloody hell.

Don't feel too good lately. Too many things to running through my head, too many problems with no solutions. Too many questions with no answers. Sometimes I really do wish that there is somebody whom I can trust with my inner most thoughts. Friends, its not like I don't trust you all, but some of these personal stuff are a bit, too personal. Heh.

Was supposed to go to cluster meeting today. But I really didn't feel up to it, both physically and mentally. I think I'm going into this super tired-out and drained phase. And now, I'm getting a chew out session for missing it. Yes, it totally makes me feel happy, getting lectured at this kinda times. "THANKS!" I feel so "WONDERFUL" now.

I'm sorry if I offended any of u all in the past week or so. There's nothing more but these 2 words. I really need a getaway.
listening to the rain... 11:36 PM 0 comments

Movie day

Was out again, this time watching movie with the archery peeps. The film was not too bad, a jap film called UMIZARU 2. Its a continuation of a Jap Coast Guard movie. Quite exciting though some of the plot twists were a bit predictable. Some parts were quite silly, esp when Daisuke made a 10 min proposal on a sinking ship, via a cellphone, when the ship could blow up anytime. Best part is, the fiancee had her phone on loudspeaker which was broadcasting to all the search and rescue ships, and almost everyone at the scene, + TV Crews.

Talk about getting cornered! I wonder how would I propose to my girl? LOL! Nvm, I think I'll work on getting a girlfriend first before I worry about that part. =D
Took a walk around Orchard before heading to meet them for the movie. I realised I haven't really leisurely strolled Orchard road for a long time. The last few times I was there, I was either working and rushing like hell, or I was visiting my grandma, and rushing like hell. Spent like an hour at HMV, just chilling and listening to free music. *BIG WIDE GRIN* Stood like almost 25mins at this particular album, and was seriously contemplating getting it. Jazz album, as usual. The girl's called Olivia, a Japanese jazz singer. Though her voice isn't really the classic kinda jazz singer voice, (dunno how to describe), she really sounded pretty good. The album sounded good on a whole, and there was this song that was quite interesting. I think it was called "One Note Samba" or something, it sang with just ONE note... well not really. Haha. I liked her version of "So nice" and "Kiss Me." No, Kiss me is not really jazz, but hell, it sounded great.

Another good jazz artist I heard was Peter Grant. Usual low and deep kinda voice. T'was another album that I considered... BEFORE I heard the Olivia one.

Besides bumming at HMV, I took a casual stroll about the rest of the places. Paragon etc.. Never realised that Paragon was really the shopping centre for extremely branded goods. Anyways, just stood around to do some window shopping, spent as much time as I liked. Its a luxury I don't really get unless I'm on my own. Kinda lonely, but it beat staying at home. And I definitely did NOT want to stay home.

Met Weiyi and his friend (whats his name? I can't remember names for nuts) at Far East for makan. Chicken rice.... again. LOL! Had chicken rice for the past few days... After makan, met the rest, (sam and bern) at cineleisure. Well, I didn't actually MEET them. I had to go to the toilet... again. Had to run for the loo outside twice today. Bummer. Something's wrong with my stomach lately. Damn.

Slacked around after movie at some Starbucks. Really fun to hang around, but unfortunately I had to go party pooping, and leave earlier. Wanted to avoid the tense situation at home by actually coming home early. And it worked... hence I'm blogging here in a relatively good mood.

K, thats all for today. Gonna go zzz soon. Gotta wake up for AGM tmr.
listening to the rain... 12:57 AM 0 comments

Monday, August 28, 2006

Maybe I should have stayed home.

Well, I didn't want to stay home. I desperately needed to get out of the house. So I jumped at the first opportunity to. Despite a heavy lunch, I ended up at a buffet at Sakae with Bern, BK and Huixian. But maybe I shudden't have went? Kinda like dampened the mood a little i think...

Past couple of days at home has been full of conflicts a frustrations. Some of them really tired me out big time. Felt kinda lousy. But at least I had a good talk with Adrian and Michelle, and kinda lightened my burden on some of the more serious issues.

Went out with Alli and Michelle for dinner at Cafe Cartel ytd night after service. Really enjoyed it, cos there's so much to talk about. By the way, Cafe Cartel does their Spaghetti carbonara a lil funny... they put a raw egg yolk at the top of it.... strange. And its not very fantastic either. So yeah, give it a miss if you really must have good carbonara.

But hey, at least I feel a bit better going out with friends. Staying at home during holidays kinda sucks. Tmr's movie day with Weiyi, bk and bern (this pair again... lol!) Some jap movie, btw, did I mention I had a pretty good impression of Jap movies? Last 2 Jap movies I saw were like fantastic. I kinda mentioned before Densha Otoko, the other was about a lady photographer who was murdered in the US, and how her boyfriend tracked down and discovered her death through her photos. (it kinda inspired me to pick up photography.)

Oh yeah! Was invited to tour a French warship that would be making a port call some time at the end of this month. Tour of a French warship!! Man! Haha. Just confirmed it today, and had to submit our names for proper security clearances and stuff. We're allowed to bring our cameras, so be prepared for some snaps on this site. Really looking forward to this one.
listening to the rain... 11:47 PM 0 comments

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Bad Day

Slept at 3.30 last night... woke up at 7.30 this morning to go for archery. Reached a little late, but so was everybody else. The crowd slowly trickled in.

My shooting was pretty off, as usual. Cant seem to get any improvements at all. I really am at a loss of what to do to improve it. But I guess thats alrite, the company of friends I was in made up for it. The Sparchery club really has a happy bunch of people.

Things was alright until I got home. Again, my mom said some pretty nasty stuff again. I don't want to elaborate. Was kinda upset by it, and I didn't know what to think. Am I that bad? That all I deserve whenever I am home is nothing but harsh words and reprimands? Am I wrong? Who am I? What am I? Where do I really belong? To whom I belong? I don't know... I really don't.

It think I hurt my left ear drum while trying to equalise my sinus. Hurts like hell now. Maybe more than the other part of me that hurt like hell.
listening to the rain... 10:31 PM 1 comments

Friday, August 25, 2006

Good day

First of all, excuse my French. I was very frustrated yesterday. In fact, I was still a bit frustrated when I woke up, just a little bit. Sleeping does wonders.

So, today was supposed to be the day we go down to school and play badminton. Sze, Bern and myself (+ one of their friends, Huixian) were supposed to be playing Badminton. I arrived a little late, cos my stomach disagreed with me going out. Hence, I had to spend half an hour in the toilet allowing it to vent it's protest.

I figured they'd be playing when I arrived, but hey! They were still chilling at the club! Before I know it, I was joining them for lunch. Now, some little voice inside me was telling me that my prophecy I made yesterday night or rather this EARLY morning to Bern was coming true. Will elaborate on that later. By the time we were done with "Lunch", we went back to the club house, and they were feeling a little too "full" to play, so I thought we would just rest there a while before playing. Unfortunately, when the cool aircon of the clubhouse greeted us, all we could do was sit down. With 3 laptops in the club, full of anime and movies, and 4 very well fed individuals, the next part shouldn't come as a surprise. We watched "Underworld Evolution" for the next 2 hours. My prophecy came true. We'd spend the day in the clubhouse watching movies.

We were supposed to leave after the movie. But due to Someone's curiosity of Squash, we found ourselves at the squash court. We all tried our hand at it, and I thought it was pretty fun. Just very tiring! Anyway, by the time I was done, my green polo shirt was quite well soaked. Had to go change in to the spare shirt (which i was supposed to be wearing for badminton) instead.

Hope to keep tmr simple. Archery from morning to evening, then after that can chill off. Will have lots of explaining to do on Sunday. Can feel the stress coming already... *growl*
listening to the rain... 9:07 PM 0 comments

Vacations..... wee. (Rated -R)

Yes, exams are finally over. Vacations are finally beginning.

Not totally convinced by "enthusiasm?" Well, good, cos I'm not too enthusiastic about it either. My vacations took off to a "flying" start with a good out of the blue scolding for my mom. This time its for being the only one who can hear her calling someone thru 2 closed doors. U'd think its the people who can't hear who'd get chewed at... no, its me. Good grief...

And after that, it was the "you only talk to me when u need money" nonsense, (I've never never asked her for money.) And followed by the , "When i ask you to do something you come back and report to me" bollocks. I'm not your -censored- Soldier or Slave, I never asked you for money. You promised to see me through my education in the first place! Yes, I'm frustrated.

School work frustrates me, "home" frustrates me, and even Church frustrates me these days.
listening to the rain... 2:48 AM 0 comments

Thursday, August 24, 2006

London Skies

Will you let me romanticize,
The beauty in our London Skies,
You know the sunlight always shines,
Behind the clouds of London Skies.

Thats the chorus segment from "London Skies", Jamie Cullum. This album has been my "companion" thru my late nights in this exam period. It has such a laid back and relaxing feel to it. Its not the kinda jazz that will send me to sleep (not all of it), and its not too loud like some of Buble's songs. (esp Sway)

Anyways, Yes, i am up again. For the final leg of my exams. 11 and half hours later would be my ICD paper. I didn't really study for it, but I still think i can do well. Right now, I'm flipping through the last few slides of DHTML, to end off tonight's revision. I think i pretty much got the XML bit covered. I THINK.

Honestly, I actually didn't want to study tonight. I just wanted to slack off and enjoy the vacations. Yes, I know, I've been in vacation mood ever since the last semester exam. Still haven't quite shaken it. Well, at least vacations are round the corner again... I can S.I.P, Slack in Peace. Anyway, like I was saying, I didn't to study tonight, until someone called me, "smug" and "procrastinator" over sms. Hahaha. Thanks to her, I'm up late now.... again.

Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl, no doubt concerned over my apparent over-confidence. Never regretted knowing her. Its quite funny how we became friends anyway. I gave her my number ( Double strange: Cos I NEVER DO THAT ), and she actually smsed me. The reason I did that was to invite her down to Expo to visit our services, since she was still quite new to Singapore. And well, despite the fact that she was in a way more or less settled down at another church, she still turned up! Very very polite person.

Anyways, Bleach 94 is still taking its own bloody sweet time. Bitorrent has no bloody sense of urgency. =D Speaking of bloody, and the issue of sense of urgency, Shinsen sub's Blood+ 44, and 45 is EXTREMELY delayed too! Give me my dose of SAYA!!! I will not settle for lesser quality subs like "Your Mom".

Alright.. back to work and hopefully some sleep.
listening to the rain... 2:32 AM 1 comments

Monday, August 21, 2006

Still...

... awake. Its almost 4 am and I still don't hear the call of the Z-monster. Whats with me these days? Going back to the days of the sleepless nights? Hope not... it really messes up lifestyle.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh yes... first yawn of the evening. You guys should see the look of content on my face with that yawn. I think I shall finally go turn in and blog no more.

No, I have to record this... Had an early dinner with her today. Yes, she finally came over to visit our service. Maybe our music's not on par with the rest of the more happening churches yet, but she thought the sermon was excellent. Way to go, dad! Anyways, brought her out for makan at Eunos, nothing fantastic, just the local coffeeshop. Strangely, having spent more than 6 mths in Singapore, she hasn't gotten out much to sample the local cuisine. Will make it a point to bring her around next weekend. Hmmm, will go think/dream about some nice food to intro to her next week.

T'was a good day.
listening to the rain... 3:46 AM 0 comments

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Holidays already?? Not yet...

It seems that my mind has locked itself into a "holiday" mood. It feels sooo ever ready to switch off and chill... Unfortunately, I still have 2 more papers to go. Bummer...

Its another Sunday, in a couple of hours. And I guess I'm kinda looking forward to it. Hmmm... I guess my mood's picking up again eh? Gonna head down to TCT for SOL2 classes in the morning, and then rush over to Expo for youth service. ..... okay.... hurrah. No, really. hurrah. =)

I think I kinda caught the PlanetShakers fever! I bought a few of their CDs and I kinda loaded out my mp3 player full of it. Man! Their music is good!
listening to the rain... 9:40 PM 0 comments

haiizzz

Math paper was OKAY... today. I lost a major question (10 marks) cos I mistook the + sign for a - sign. It pretty much sabo-ed the entire question. No points there.

All in all, I shouldn't fail... I hope.

Did nothing much today other than coming back to sulk over my careless mistake. Played a bit of D2, and stayed up late to slack n chat. I like to do work at late nights too... unfortunately, just that most of the time, the school schedule doesn't permit it. Oh well... Must live like the rest of the humans i guess.
listening to the rain... 3:13 AM 0 comments

Friday, August 18, 2006

Blood+ festa!

Shinsen subs released like 5 subbed episodes at one go it seems! Hoho! Its gonna be a Blood+ festa until my next paper! Already watched 2 episodes... and boy, the storyline is getting better.

Solomon actually switched sides!! It wasn't totally unexpected, but it wasn't really the logical thing to do either. Oh well, I'm gonna stay glued to see if Saya accepts him. IMHO, Saya's HOT! =D

3am now, and time for me to knock off and visit the Z-monster. Got Math paper tmr...

"Agent Z, Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to obtain the documented solutions to a Top Secret Document MS5226 2006/2007 S1 from the SP compound. These documents are of great interests, and must be secured intact. Failure is not an option. Usual rules apply if you are captured. Good Luck!"
listening to the rain... 3:15 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Goodbye DBMS!

WooO!! Finally its over! No more DBMS!! The paper today wasn't too bad. I should be able to pass it without a hitch I suppose. A bit tired out today... 3 hrs of sleep last nite, napped 1 hr in the evening. And yes, I still feel sleepy.

Decided to take the rest of today off... Spent time watching anime and am probably gonna log a few hours in flight later. Then again, I might just sleep on that idea.

Yeap, saw the news, and no surprise that people are talking about the US putting Israel up to the war in Lebanon now. Guess what? That was exactly what I speculated since the war began. Except that I felt that they US was interested in going after Iran and Syria. It appears that they only want to deal with Iran. Gonna wait and see if there will be any confirmations to this.

Was watching Gun X Sword, like 5 episodes of it at one sitting. It wasn't like an overwhelming fantastic anime like Blood+ or Bleach, but it serves to plug the anime craving for a while (thx bern! ). Interesting characters tho. The protagonist a cold, but human hero with a vendetta, and a kawaii lil girl in school uniform that tags along with this old guy. How typically Japanese... But at least the animation was not bad, the "armors" quite cool. I kinda like the satellite launched "armor" idea... hmmm. Im gonna run out of animes to watch soon though... sigh. Gotta go borrow more anime!! *anime zombie*

*GraaRRgGhh*
listening to the rain... 10:52 PM 0 comments

What time is it?

Past my bed time! Its 2.45am now, and I'm still awake, just about done with revising for my DBMS paper tmr... The paper is at 9am, and I'll have to get up at 6.30 to make sure that I won't be late for it. So, by the time I'm done washing up, it would be 3am, and that leaves me with 3 and half hours of sleep.

I'm not worried about the lack of sleep. I'm worried about not being able to wake up! That would seriously be messed up. Die die must wake up...

Its been an decent weekend, despite the exam preparations. I've had worse. Hope for a more "slack" period in the weeks ahead despite having to revise for SSD n ICD. Dun wanna grow to many pimples stressing out over SCHOOL WORK. I'd rather grow pimples for a worthier cause... like eating durians!

Been following the UN resolution in the Middle East. Yes... On the surface, it looks like peace at last. Everybody's gonna stop fighting and get along....................... NOT!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the resolution calls for the introduction of 15,000 Lebanese Troops (where were they when the whole mess started anyways?) , and another 15,000 UN troops. Now lets see how many factions we would have ON THE GROUND. Hezbollah, Israel, Lebanese Troops and UN Troops. Its a 4 ringed-Circus! Somebody send in the clowns!

The UN is right to be wary of "Saboteurs" of peace. What they just did was increase the stakes on the ground, creating a bigger and juicier target for sabotage. Imagine, while the ceasefire was in place, Hezbollah militants set of bombs in Israel, and fires rockets again at them. Will Israel show restraint and not bomb Lebanon again? *thinks for a tenth of a nano-second* NOPE! Israel will most likely to retaliate once again, this time, with UN and Lebanese troops sandwich in between. Question is... Will they give way and let the Israelis pass? Or will they stand their ground?

Both ways will reflect the weakness of the UN. UN troops will not be able to stand against a fully supported Army like Israel's. Malaysian and Indonesian Contingents better stay smart and not decide to "defend Lebanon from Zionist aggressions", else their troops are gonna come back in body bags.

I'm a pessimist with regards to the Middle East Peace process. For upping the ante, Hezbollah and Hamas is gonna take up the challenge for sure.
listening to the rain... 2:48 AM 0 comments

Monday, August 14, 2006

I would like a....

... 0.308 winchester delivered via a high powered rifle, entering from the back of my skull, exiting from my face please. That way, nobody can see the look on my face after writhing in agony producing a 3 page long solution to a math problem. To quote my best bud, the question was, "DISGUSTING."

In anycase, I'm taking a break from Math tmr... Gotta work on my DBMS module. Just installed an SQL query analyser on my trusty laptop to practice my SQL commands. Okay that sounded damn nerdy... *snort snort* + *pushes specs up nose bridge*

This entire exam period is like a race against time... oh wait...its the same everytime! Wahaha. You see, I could have started my revision a whole week ago. But unfortunately, I'm kinda of a slacker. I need to FEEL the sense of urgency before anything actually gets into my brain's temporary storage. Note: Temporary storage. After my exams, I won't remember a thing that was taught anymore. (No future employers reading this?)

Not that I enjoy stress. Trust me, I enjoy a STRESS FREE LIFE STYLE, more than anyone would. Unfortunately, most people think thats kinda unproductive. Okay, I really need a break... maybe some sleep would be nice..mmm yes.... sleeep..... oH wait... supper first.
listening to the rain... 1:32 AM 0 comments

Sunday, August 13, 2006

PlanetShakers was Awesome!

Woah.. the concert party was most definitely fun. So many ppl turned up... say abt 7000? Anyways, very tired now, won't write much.

Met a new friend @ the party, hope she comes tmr and gives me a call. =D

Gdnite!
listening to the rain... 3:29 AM 0 comments

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Update your windows!! So says Department of Homeland Security!

Okay, the ROYAL DECREE is out. Hear ye! Hear ye! A new CRITICAL update for Windows has been released for all ye peasants to download! Without the update, evil terrorist can take control of thy computer, and do everything ye wished ye knew how to do with thy computer without thy knowledge! (Pardon the irony) The update is so CRITICAL that the United State's Department of Homeland Security has urged all ye peasants to download it! It is highly likely that they fear that Osama Bin Laden has learnt how to use a computer in his past few years of residence in the US. =x OOOps.

Really, its a critical update, so please go get it. But seriously, how did the Department of Homeland security become the official endorsement of Microsoft Security Updates? Its like our ISD advocating security cameras to hawker vendors! OoooH, i see the light now!

Today has been another crappy attempt at Maths revision. Still don't really understand how to do my Laplace transforms. But hey, at least I don't feel so guilty about not revising for it? Gonna rinse and repeat that tmr morning.

Still trying to get ppl to go to the Ultraviolet party @ expo later. Got free tix also nobody wants... sian. Why am I still out to a concert/party when I should be studying for exams? Good question but... don't ask. Nvm... I'm sure I can find a few bored peeps to hang out with me tmr... Sunday can be used to do some more make up revision. And Monday all out attack on DBMS. Its gonna be hell.

Its such a nice cloudless night to sleep. But can't see the stars though... Missed the times when we were out in the field for training. We'd look up and see some stars. Down come the Night Vision goggles and we'd see a sky filled with stars!! The most awesome sight i've ever seen.

*thump* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
listening to the rain... 3:00 AM 0 comments

Friday, August 11, 2006

The cool breeze

Yes, I was about to say, here I am, enjoying the cool breeze of my balcony in a comfortable deck chair when my Sis interrupted me when her keys were stuck in a box. Its one of those magic toy boxes where u shut it, and let another person try to figure it out. She somehow shoved the tray in the wrong way and the whole thing got jammed shut.

Anyways, managed to pry it open. I have no idea how she managed to shut the thing in the first place... My sister and her amazing feats of strength.

Woke up at 12.30pm today. Too lazy n tired to go to school, so stayed home and bought lunch + dinner for the family. Did 1 sortie on falcon4, running some balkans campaign. Buggy as hell with floating runways. So it was kinda impossible to land. Everytime I had to land, I might encounter a floating runway and have to make for a divert field or fly far enough to turn around hoping the terrain would re-render. Wenta visit my grandma in the evening, she's doing well. She's complaining abt the hospital food already... well its traditional for hospital food to be bad. Thats how they get rid of patients. Came home, had dinner... and finally, started work on revising my maths.

Took a bit of break in between to fly another sortie. This time a suicide mission... The 2 escort F-15Cs, Bison 31 and 32 were blown to bits before the ingress. My wingman Bug32 got hit by 2 AA-7s when we got jumped by some MiG-23s. I took a shot at 1 of them, and dove for the deck and raced towards my target area... 80 miles away. The trip below radar detection altitude was uneventful except for a few Sam launches that didn't get too close. Target area was hell. It turns out the runway was covered by a neat configuration of SA-6s, SA-4s, and SA-3s. Shot my last remaining HARM at the SA-4s FCR, and turned to my mavericks to press the attacks. Since I could visually see the SA-ring around the airbase, I switched the mavericks to visual mode and quickly slew around to lock n launch. The whole process was nerve wrecking especially when I saw I missed 2 MiG-21s that were in the area, with their rinky dinky radar tracking me already. Fortunately, I saved 3 AMRAAMs for occassions such as these. After taking my shots on SAs, I filled the air with aluminium shards and turn 180 to get the hell out of dodge. On the way down, Shot 2 AMRAAMs at the 2 MiG-21s for getting in the way. They didn't stand a chance against those silver bullets. Further down the road, 2 MiG-25s on CAP veered towards me. Went full AB to climb to 34k ft, got a nice launch position on 1 of the Migs, and tripped a couple of SA-6s, and SA-2s on along the way. As soon as I got the pitbull, it was down to the deck again with 2 missiles at me. SA-2 went for the chaff, but I had to go orthogonal on the SA-6. When I reached homeplate, guess what? Its the floating runway bug... thankfully, an international airport was nearby, and it wasn't bugged. =D

Back to Maths. It sucks. Thats all I have to say.

But still managed to get a good amount of questions done. Lesson learned when dealing with proving questions. If both sides of the equations has "advanced" trigo forms, eg, cosec, sec, cot: work both sides to their simple forms first before attempting to solve. It works a lot better this way. Lesson 2: Simpsons rules questions are free marks. MUST DO. Lesson 3: MiG-21s aren't worth 2 AMRAAMs, should save it for capping foxbats in future. Woops... sorry, where was I again?
listening to the rain... 12:53 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

F-16s!!

Yeap! My 2nd post for the day. National Day Parade was a blast! Especially when the F-16s kicked into full afterburners! (Its the flaming streak you see blasting out of the ass end of the jet) If only it went supersonic! Hah! The crowd might have dispersed thinking it was a bomb blast! The beauty of the plane... I'm in love!! *blink blink*

Was supposed to study today, but the festive mood got to me. Spent a couple of hours in the virtual cockpit of my F-16 too. Did like 4 sorties with full take offs n landings. Mostly mud-moving stuff, but still managed to get 6 air to air kills. 2 Migs and 4 hinds. The hinds were funny... just hovering around when we were buzzing over head killing their armored columns. What, they expected us to ignore them? Nailed them for their complacency... with a bit of complacency on my part too. All 4 were downed with guns only... MUAHAHAHA! *** actually, my sidewinders refused to lock on... not enough heat signature from choppers I guesss. ***

Will be heading down to school tmr... gonna print out some DBMS past year papers to do. Must get revision on those. I am quite clueless on how to handle the outer-joins and triggers. Don't like the module, and I expect most likely a C for it this year. Gotta get down to doing math past year papers, as well as revising Servlets for SSD, and XML for ICD. *Crosses fingers, hopes n prays not too many marks allocated in those sections.* How I loathe examinations... such brain cell killers, and its not like im well stocked in THAT department.

Was reading some articles on the war in Lebanon. Was quite disappointed with 1 in particular. It reads, "IAF pilots deliberately missing targets to avoid civilian casualties." That is how serious the situation is there. Even the Israeli pilots do not believe the targets they were ordered to bomb to be legitimate military targets. They believe that there are intelligence failures along the way thats causing them to hit the wrong targets. Well, its such a disappointing news to me. Not because the pilots are not killing civilians... Its that they have to disobey orders/ fail orders, just to what is right. It just goes to show that, sometimes, in order to do the right thing may mean doing the wrong thing. Its just disgraceful that soldiers have to disobey orders in order to do the right thing...

Its been a good day... but I really need to get down and dirty to do some studying... Somebody save me from my laziness!
listening to the rain... 11:55 PM 0 comments

National Day Parade!

Alright, the NDP celebrations are starting now. Been waiting for this all day. The parade segment is something that I wouldn't miss for the world!

Anyways, b4 the parade program, was on CH61 watching this very very touch Jap movie. I believe the name was Densha Otoko. The movie was about 20 year old cyber geek, who was content to live life in the cyberworld, meeting (and rescuing) a girl of his dreams. I missed some of the front parts, but I think she bought him an expensive set of cups as a Thank you gift. And with encouragement of his cyber friends, he gradually transforms and breaks out of his timid cyberworld self to court the girl. Really enjoyed the movie, and I have to admit, the japs do know how to make their movies.

Oh, apparrently, they even made this story into a manga and anime. If anyone has seen this around, please drop me a note yeah?

Back to the NDP... The red lions are making their jumps! AWESOME! brb!
listening to the rain... 6:14 PM 1 comments

Fireworks!

It was my first time seeing fireworks live! And so close!! Really awesome sight! The fireworks display lasted a full 10 mins. Its hardly comparable to the 1hr displays in the US, but still, WOW! Yes yes, I shuld have been at prayer meeting. But no, I think fireworks displays are more fun. =D

It felt like a celebration! As though the fireworks were welcoming me into the reality I've been missing out. So fun!

It was a good day at school perhaps? Submitted the last bits of my ICD project, so its CASE CLOSED. Finally. After school, went down to the hospital to visit granny b4 heading down to city hall to meet Jol and Co. for dinner n fireworks display. As described earlier, the display was spectacular by Singapore standards.

Tmr's a public holiday! Woo Hoo!! Gonna stay home n watch the parade. Nothing's gonna change THAT plan. Every year, without fail, I'll stay home n watch the parade n the flyby. Its gonna be an awesome flyby with the Air Force's new Apache choppers flying flag escorts. Oh, heard some rumors that 2 of them are VOR already... will wait for press release to hear what exactly happened.

Mood's a bit better these few days. Cleared projects and outstanding assignments. Now left the exams to mug for. I kinda realised that its all these expectations from my leaders and 12 thats been dragging me down. Everytime I get a call from him, its some kinda lecture on how I fail to be accountable and my lack of commitment to turn up for meetings. In a way, after a while, it just bites me. I feel so inadequate among all the established leaders in our 12 and 144 level. Tmr, I'm gonna throw in the towel on that. I can't let that drag me forever. I'm not cut out to be on the 144 level, I cannot make their requirements nor do I want to. Trying to do so just kills me and drags me to the pits. There is no joy in it, so no point doing it.

So what exactly do I like doing? I like reading the news, staying informed (being a smart aleck), I like hanging out with friends! I enjoy spending time in the virtual cockpit of an F-16, i LOVE playing pool and archery. I don't liked to be dragged to do something, I like to be motivated to do something. Dragging me to 144 meetings, or prayer meetings (how i loathe these 2 words), does not motivate me. Neither does the follow up lecture / reprimand!

Was doing a bit of thinking. Einstein was right on his theory of relativity. Everything is relative, ESPECIALLY perception. You percieve things positively, things will look positive. Percieve things poorly, it will be poor. A famous quote I read somewhere, "Your Focus determines your reality." Whoever who wrote that is one smart aleck. I don't even want to pretend to know how this works, (Okay, im actually too lazy to discuss,) just that in most situations it works. I guess thas why so many ppl turn to divinations and fortune telling in hopes of someone giving them a positive focus to look forward to.

So why don't I just focus on LIKING the stuff that my church leaders expect me to do? Sooner or later I will LIKE it right? BOLLOCKS! The human brain is not something you can reprogramme just like that. If it was that easy, I would have done it! My screwed up little brain is wired differently from all the other apes around. I don't like to be seen, I don't like to be heard (unless among friends), and I don't like to be dragged around! Life is so short, if i have to force myself to focus on liking something that I don't, I might as well order my coffin already. Ya ya.. sooner or later in life we will have to do something we don't like.... bla bla bla.... At this point of my life, my philosophy is, 兵来将挡, just get it over n done with! Then back to the things I'm passionate about.

I dun wanna spend my whole life, reprogramming myself to like things that I obviously hate doing. Thats not the way to live.
listening to the rain... 2:13 AM 0 comments

Monday, August 07, 2006

Monday blues, boring mondays... School as usual. Went early in the morning for DBMS tutorial, and as usual, half an hour late. Don't really know what I was there for... Anyways, I think it had suddenly dawned upon our dear DBMS tutorial lecturer that she wasn't the best at giving instructions and having students understand. At least now she's working on it by cutting down the unecessary details. Phew.

Exams next week, preparation progress is at 0%................ Wooopeee! Its gonna be another mad rush this week. Woefully underprepared for math and dbms. Gotta work on these 2 this week. Exams does bring positive news though! It means the vacations are round the corner! Have to start planning otherwise, would be bored to bits at home again. Was planning to take Jujitsu, but may have to scrap that plan... sorry Celest. =/

Gonna go visit grandma @ the hospital tmr. She's made it thru post op, and last I hear, seems to be doing well. Probably go down and spend some time with her. My mom wants to put her up @ the hospital for another week, until she's back from her trip. She's afraid of leaving Granny at home alone, and rightly so.

Anything Good happened today? Nope. Went for ICD interview and to my horror of horrors, I left out a whole section from my project! Neither my project mate and I noticed we were missing it!! That was followed by a mad rush to complete it, and a sucky afternoon at the club room watching them play Dota.

Mondays are boring.
listening to the rain... 8:52 PM 0 comments

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Whats worse than a hangover? A hangover with bout of cold and stomachache!

Woke up with a headache and stomachache... and that stuffed nose feeling and body feeling prickly warm. Not one of the best mornings to wake up to. As usual, overslept again, and had to take cab to make it to service on time.

Ytd was fun. Except for the vicious drink kristy concocted. She basically threw together dry gin, vodka, whiskey, more absolute AND soya sauce. Almost everyone had to have a sip of it. Fortunately, I'm good at appearing invisible. =D Sean drank it, most of it... and was soon wasted with a pile of vomit beside him.

Pretty normal day today... woke up late, went for service, slacked around a bit, came back home, watched Friends with my sisters and ordered 2 pizzas. This is what Sunday's should be like. Stress free lifestyle. Not entirely stress free yet... The shadow of exams and impending doom looms over. Doesn't help that I haven't done squat in terms of revision yet! Bah, I'll start work on Math tmr, and DBMS on Tuesday. I just need to get started on it, and everything will roll along fine, I hope.

Oh yes. This blog is my mostly my own work. Graphics, layout, coding etc. The only codes I didn't write was the changeNavigation(), which is commonly available anyways. The background of the F-16 was taken off a screenshot off Falcon4. Sent it to photoshop, added a filter, and thats it! Nothing much to it.
listening to the rain... 7:48 PM 0 comments

First post in my new blog!

Yes, I finally got round to doing this. This is my first attempt at skinning a blog too, so yeah.

Now, what is an orthogonal -break?

In air combat, a break is a max-g manuever into the direction of an attack made by another fighter on your six. The manuever is designed to upset the enemy's ability to line up a shot on the defender.

A max -g orthogonal break, is similar to that, but used on the defensive against a guided missile. It is the last ditch attempt to defeat/prevent the missile from shredding the defender aircraft. The defender first flies perpendicular to the missile, forcing the missile to make continuous course adjustments. At the right moment, the defender turns VERY sharply into the missile's intercept path. If done right, together with timely deployment of counter measure, the missile will overshoot, or the defending fighter would be out of the missile's explosive fragmentation cone.

Why this for a blog name? Well, life is kinda like being in the hotseat with a missile on ur tail. You do what you can to prevent life's suckiness to eat you up from the inside. But sometimes, it just ain't enough. This blog is gonna be my last-ditch attempt to escape or deal with the stressful, negative & infinitely frustrating parts of my life. Its meant to be my orthogonal-break.

For a real post now.

Had a really fun BBQ @ costa with Sue, AOD, Sean & Butterz. Haven't met them in a long while. Surprise surprise, Kristy and Christine were there too! Haven't seen this 2 since 2002! It was great getting to see them again.

We had plenty of drinks! Unfortunately, I've got service later and can't join them to get wasted together playing Indian Poker. Haven't gone drinking with them for ages too! Yes, I'm sober! I just bloody did this blog okay?

Thats all for now, need to sleep sooon

PS: I'm not a fighter pilot.
listening to the rain... 2:38 AM 1 comments

Do NOT click post multiple times. Click on the "COMMS" to see your updated post.