Enjoying the reprieve.

Last paper for MST is over. Thankfully too! I think I did okay for the math paper today. I am confident of passing! But how well I'll do... I'm not too sure. One thing I noticed about our math papers... they seem a lot tougher than all the past year paper s that I tried. I mean, what da hell, are they stacking against me or what?

Came back home after slacking in school a bit. Spent some time walking around the bazaar, having snacks, chit chatting with Jerms and Benny. I really just need a bit of down time. Heck, I'd like to be permanently switched off as well.

I kinda figured out why I've sort of lost a bit of myself. Lost the spark of life inside me. Its coming to a quarter of a decade, and I realise that a large chunk of "Me" has gone, has died. Ambitions and dreams I had when I was younger, are gone. Most of them, unrealised, and have become an impossibility today. Hopes that I had, died, when the objects of hope disappeared. Feelings... Love and passion that I had for people, soured into hurt and disappointment.

Memories are gone, like how yesterday is gone. History is gone. Soon, I'll be gone. A quarter of a decade is flashing past at light speed, and so much of my life has gone by. Martin said something that brought to something interesting to my mind. It may have been a quarter of decade, but probably half of my life has already passed. Part of me gone, and the part of me that remains... is the part that I loathe.

How do I feel? I can't describe in my own words. So I'll let Linking Park explain.


All I can and should do now, is to live life, without hurting the people around me. Unfortunately, that would be against the very nature of the part of me that remains. listening to the rain... 11:50 PM

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