To die in guilt, so that others may live in glory?
This was a sentence that ended a little discussion I had with Bern. It seems that I had no answers or comment to it that night, but I think I finally found it.
And guess where I found it? In the Bible! This is how it goes.
Isaiah 53:2 onwards to verse 12.
2My servant grew up in the LORD's presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. 3He was despised and rejected--a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care.
4Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! 5But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! 6All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us all.
7He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 8From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins--that he was suffering their punishment? 9He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave.
10But it was the LORD's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the LORD's plan will prosper in his hands. 11When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for
many to be
counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. 12I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he
exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners.
Jesus Christ died taking all our guilt and shame on the cross, so that all may live. To think that I forgot that... *kicks self in ass.*
I've been feeling kinda sad lately. Small, insignificant, and overlooked. Spent a bit of time with my brothers from church, and with my ah pa, Ps Adrian. Most importantly, spent a bit of time listening to what God has been telling me.
I've been trying to find my significance, and love from people around me. Especially someone. And that was all I cared for lately. And when I didn't find it, I felt miserable. In this period when I sought love and acceptance, I forgot that God loves me and accepts me. No doubt when I felt miserable and sad when I didn't find that love and that acceptance, God in His way, felt the same when I did not realise His love and acceptance.
It brought some healing to the hurt I accumulated in the recent months, as well as a renewed understanding that God's love for us, and his acceptance is eternal. Sometimes, we all need to run to daddy. =D
It'll take time to heal from hurts, and to learn the lessons. But this is life. Pain endured, lesson learnt.
Really glad I went for G12 meeting today. I realised how I much I still love God, but how distracted I've been as well.
listening to the rain...
11:32 PM
