Sunday

Almost didn't make it to service on time. Our church is kinda strict on punctuality, so have to get there in time or we'd get locked out from service. Managed to get in before the service door closed... phew.

I guess I'm glad I went today. I realised that I am afraid of many things. I fear how others look at me, I fear commitments, I fear being alone and I even fear death. I always thought, dying is a good thing. End of the line, no need to think anymore, no more worries, problems unsovled but no longer my problem etc etc. But I fear death, because I am not ready to meet God. I don't know how I can possibly account to God for all the things that I've done, for all work things I haven't accomplished.

Anyways, had a long chat with Adrian as well. Seldom get the opportunity to talk to him 1 on 1. Had to discuss about my repositioning down from leadership level. Besides that, it was good talking to him about some of my problems and burdens. Some of the best advice I get about stuff usually comes from him. My only regret is that I am not able to meet up to my own expectations of being at the leadership level. Time to move on.

Talked about the relationship area in my life as well. I guess its something that I find myself arguing over. And I was surprised that Adrian was encouraging me to keep a look out for a good life partner as well. I can only say that, I don't know what I want to do in life yet. And not many girls would want to take a bet on someone who doesn't even know where his life is headed. My unilateral outcome of that discussion was that, its not that I don't want to; but that I don't fit into the long term plans for anyone considering a serious n stable relationship. The sucky truth.

Okay... I can smell the food downstairs already, and I'm famished. Its been a long day. Had to fetch Isaac back from church as well. The boy was asleep and had to carry him all the way to the taxi stand. He's not getting lighter, and growing way to fast. Such an adorable boy.. love him to BITS! =D

Oh crap... tomorrow's Monday. listening to the rain... 6:07 PM

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