Forgotten
You know when you're messed up when you get wound up so easily. Every tiny little mistake, be it a word or deed threatens to set off a nuclear
explosion inside you. And when you're someone like me, you'll tend to search yourself to find some fault thats causing all this, and eventually realise that perhaps the fault just lies with yourself in your entirety.
Personally, I've always thought, "maybe if I go away, every problem that I've caused would go away.
Forgotten." Part of me wishes for that but when it really happens, I realise how painful it is to be forgotten. Perhaps it maybe forgiveable to be forgotten in death, but to be erased from the memories while I'm still alive maybe beyond what I can endure. Yet from time to time, I catch myself
yearning for it...
Some wounds never heal. They are merely forgotten until it's accidentally afflicted again. And then, they hurt again.
The ride back home was not what I expected. All I wanted to do was sleep. Slumber until the bus lumbers its way back home. Instead, I found myself thinking and thinking and thinking again. A single thought chaining itself to another series of notions, mulls and laments. And for each of those thoughts, expands another forest of thoughts. Sad to say, my mind refuses to shut down and feeds on these thoughts like a starving mongrel.
Thankfully, all it ends when I'm a stop away from home. It is as though a visual stimulus forces my mind to abruptly terminate its trance like thought cycle, hit the bell, and alight. Yes, you're right. I think way too much.
However, the damage is done. In that forest of thoughts, lies a particularly tree whose thorns inflict the sharpest of pain at the moment. That forgotten tree. Something I sorely need to get my hands on. I forget things easily. School work, appointments, G12 meetings... but I can't forget people. Maybe their names, but not memories of them... with them.
listening to the rain...
6:08 PM
